The Personal Essay.
It’s typically an open ended prompt, a variation on “Tell Us Something Interesting About Yourself.” Other times, it may be more specific; e.g., “Tell Us About A Time You Were Part of a Community.”
Writing effectively can be a challenging task. It requires a firm handle on expressive language, grammar and mechanics, as well as a sense of rhythm and flow. These are skills a student is expected to have developed fully as they near the end of high school.
For the Personal Essay, our kids have to come up with ideas, figure out the themes of their lives, narrow it all down to a thesis, and then produce a well-written, focused, engaging essay that shows all of their potential as a college candidate. On top of that, there’s the deadline looming and the pressure of actually earning acceptance to desirable schools that may shape the rest of their lives!
It’s a lot.
The resulting stress for both ourselves and our kids may lead us to an unwise approach to this challenge. We may be tempted to have an adult––whether a parent, older sibling or high priced tutor––to really hold the kid’s hand through the process, and let’s be honest, often dictate to them a lot of our own ideas and phrasing.
Let’s not do that.
Need we remember the huge cheating scandal plastered all over the media last year? Faking photos for extra-curriculars. Paying professional test-takers to take SATs for students. Bribing college officials. And let’s assume there was paying for high-quality written college essays.
Said simply, we should be extremely cautious with how we support our kids in all aspects of the admissions process. But it’s not just because of the potential liability or the ethical implications involved. There are more important reasons to really let them take ownership of this task. The Washington Post recently ran an article, “Experts offer four reasons why kids need to own their college essays.”
Here are the four reasons:
Writing their college essays helps kids gear up for success after high school.
Writing can be therapy.
Admissions officers know what a 17-year-old voice sounds like—and what a 47-year-old voice sounds like.
If you write your kid’s essay, you’re depriving them of the opportunity to recognize just how much they do bring to the table.
To sum up, writing a Personal Essay independently can be a pivotal growing experience for high schoolers. So how can parents help their teenagers with this task without taking away the benefits for them?
Ezra Werb, an educational therapist who works with struggling high schoolers on challenging writing assignments, offers these tips for students who are stuck to help them get going:
For Pre-Writing:
Start by helping them brainstorm. Ask them to say/write anything that comes to mind regarding the prompt. Then, encourage them to narrow down the ideas to the experiences/events etc. that feel the most comfortable for them to write about.
Ask them why this idea sticks out to them. Challenge them to consider what they gained from this experience/event. How did it help them learn about themselves or the world?
Ask them to brainstorm more specific details. Events, people, settings, conflicts, solutions… anything that might help them paint the picture.
Advise them to make an outline. Outlines help them organize ideas.
Ezra advises that parents should read their kids’ rough drafts and offer feedback, sticking to these guidelines:
Start with positive affirmations about their ideas.
Point out any confusing sentences or ideas that may need editing or developing.
Give them tips to clean up punctuation and grammar.
Do NOT do any rewriting of your own or speak out how they should rewrite. Let them come up with their own way of editing/rewriting.
It may not feel like a trip to Disneyland, but after completing their Personal Essay, your teenagers will appreciate how they’ve taken an aspect of their lives, found meaning in it, and presented it through their own expression.
College, here they come!
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